Saitama's Guide to Saving Universes: One Punch at a Time
by Organization Number 15
Summary: What if Saitama solved everybody's problems? What if he could cross dimensions solely to prevent something bad from becoming far worse? This silly Ultimate Crossover fic follows Speedwagon (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) and the many tales he'd hear at Grillby's (Undertale) from Saitama himself in his efforts to save countless fandoms from despair. More crossovers listed. Sans, Frisk.


**Hey, everyone!**

 **So this is a fun little project I've been thinking about doing for a while and decided to go through with after finishing One Punch Man: What would happen if One Punch Man solved every problem before it got significantly worse? The Hero Association often writes him off in the anime, so why not have him sent to other worlds and become a temporary hero elsewhere? And what would happen if all these characters came together to reminisce in Grillby's, the hub for everything strange no matter who or where you are?**

 **As a result of thinking all this, I concluded that I'd try writing a radically different kind of fanfiction compared to what I usually do to see what I'd produce. I was also glad to give myself the excuse to narrate from Speedwagon's perspective, which was an interesting experiment (giving the side character in Jojo we all know and love the straight man gag to Saitama's utter obliviousness). I especially felt the need to write this as I've been feeling discouraged from writing my main fanfics after the unfortunate failure that was Corpse Party Blood Drive as well as the mammoth of a task Book Four: Light poses on me to write a single chapter. I'm not abandoning my fics, but I needed a little creative writing break between the two and I intend on writing more chapters when I feel the quality I can produce is significantly better than it is now.**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoy a Bizarre trip with Saitama through this strange and hopefully humorous tale.**

 **P.S. Depending on reception and motivation, I might continue with this idea every once in a while, although it will less than likely be a series. For now, however, I intend on treating it as a one-shot.**

* * *

 **NOTE: some major SPOILERS ahead depending on the work. This is a crossover fanfiction between One Punch Man, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure (Phantom Blood arc), Undertale, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and Attack on Titan. (MAJOR spoilers for Jojo, Undertale, and Madoka in particular)**

* * *

[Yuuki Rendan – Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Phantom Blood]

"Nothing can escape my icy grip, Jojo! You are hopeless against me, no matter how much you train!" Dio lorded over the struggling Jojo, who was impaled by Dio's last attack. Fatal to many, Jojo managed to endure like an ox and Speedwagon expected no less from Jonathan Joestar!

"It's not over yet!" Speedwagon awed as Jojo picked himself back up. Speedwagon witnessed Jojo's slow, but steady recovery as his powerful friend focused internally, and Speedwagon could tell that Jojo's was trying to unifying his breathing with the steady beating of his heart. He had been there since the beginning, since Zeppeli has begun training Jojo, throughout his close friend's triumphs and struggles. He knew that Jojo would be able to recover!

Speedwagon, Jojo and company were standing on the castle balcony that Jojo's dastardly step-brother, Dio, commandeered as his fortress for his legion of vampire ghouls! In the midst of the final battle and unable to act against the vampiric Dio, Speedwagon could only bare witness as Jojo honed his inner Hamon in a desperate struggle against his arch nemesis! Despite Jojo's pas successes, even Speedwagon's faith in Jojo's strength wavered at the thought of Dio's unbelievable, inhuman power. All he could do is support his friend in any way he could and dammit, that's exactly what he'd do!

"Look! Jojo's pushing out Dio's vampiric essence!" Speedwagon exclaimed as Jojo pushed the acidic liquid out of the punctures in his veins. Speedwagon looked at Jojo in admiration as he shook off Dio's last attack. He could tell that his friend was struggling, but the unwavering determination coursing through his veins was clearly evident from his previous feat.

"Jojo's inner focus is nothing to be underestimated! Jojo! Stay strong!" Jojo brought himself back into a fighting stance, readying his next strike!

"Hmph! You never learn, Jojo! You're outclassed in brains and in power! You are merely a monkey to me, Jojo!" Dio prepared himself, his stance ready to spring at any moment. Speedwagon watched nervously as the villain readied himself for a finishing strike. What will Jojo do?

"You're training has been useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Useless! Now die, monkey!" Dio launched himself into the air, taking the tactical advantage to strike first and strike high!

Speedwagon soon saw Jojo's fist roar to life, surging with the power of Hamon, and as Dio lept into the air, Jojo began swinging his hand around, winding almost unnaturally. At first, Speedwagon could hardly call Jojo's maneuver a real punch, but as his hand brushed into the fire, Speedwagon realized that Jojo's dramatic movements were in fact concealing his tactical ace! Jojo swung against Dio, his hand blazing with Hamon and flames, but Dio caught his hand in the midst of the attack! Jojo's hand would've froze for sure normally, but Jojo was smart enough to use the energy from his blazing punch to neutralize Dio's freezing ability and straight into Dio's stomach! With a punch filled with determination, Jojo slid right past Dio's grab and busted through Dio's vampire body, drilling a hole into his nemesis! Hamon crackled through Dio's body as Jojo retreated backwards, the recoil sending Dio flying off the balcony. Jojo did it! Speedwagon rejoiced in his friend's victory!

"AUGH! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! IT'S BURNS!" Dio yelled as his body was slowly being ripped to shreds by Hamon energy. "I was…supposed to rule…for millennia! I...was a perfect being! It can't end this way!" Dio coughed up the blood he leeched from his victims as he screamed in agony. Speedwagon could hardly believe Dio was still alive after that hit, and because of that, concern began swelling in the pit of his stomach because of it. Was Dio finally defeated or have they assumed his defeat too hastily?

"You brought this upon yourself, Dio! It had to be done!" Jojo's eyes never left Dio's, standing boldly. Dio's desperation soon turned into anger and Speedwagon could see Dio's eye begin to glow.

"It won't end this way, Jojo!" Dio's eye, ready to shoot, soon went dead as two insanely powerful forces impaled his head and his body. A red fist shot into Dio's skull, the force turning Dio's already Hamon-ravaged body head into ash upon contact, the other fist bringing ruin to Dio's body in a similar, gory fashion. Blood splattered everywhere as the man responsible for Dio's ruin landed on top of the balcony's rail. The bald, oddly dressed man's fists were covered in ash and were steaming from the impact. Speedwagon nearly collapsed from the utter shock, the insane power that the man before them displayed.

"W-who are you?" Speedwagon muttered his words, stumbling forward towards the man. Speedwagon has met many people in the world, many who wielded great power, but the aura this man emitted was…titanic and unfathomable. Even knowing this, however, Speedwagon couldn't quite read this man. What was he thinking at this very moment, having helped defeat such a powerful opponent? What were the true fathoms of his strength? The seriousness in the newcomer's eyes soon faded away to a deadpan stare.

"I'm just a hero for fun." He said blankly.

"…What?" Somewhere in the pit of his stomach came a feeling he never would have thought he'd have after Dio was slain.

"What the hell is this?! Saying something like that so casually!" Speedwagon glared at him irritably. "You know how hard it was to kill…at least pretend that what you did was an incredible feat! Hey! Are you looking at me, bastard?" The man began walking towards the balcony's exit, peering into the castle curiously like a stray dog. This man was, in every way, the complete opposite of Jojo…undisciplined, uncaring, hardly a gentleman! And yet, it wasn't like he was a street thug…not like he was in a time he doesn't like to remember. Speedwagon sensed no malice from the self proclaimed hero...even if he did piss him off, perhaps he shouldn't pass judgment so soon.

"At least tell us your name." Jojo calmly walked up to the man and extended his hand. "You played a part in ending Dio's plans. He was my responsibility…and I am sure somehow that you have prevented a greater tragedy from happening. I wish to remember your name and honor it as long as my family line lives."

"Jojo!" Speedwagon was shocked at his calmness toward such a flippant man…although in the end, Speedwagon couldn't help but admire Jojo's humility. Speedwagon was at least grateful that the stranger intervened before Dio could launch his final gambit. Learning this man's name was the honorable thing for a gentleman to do after what he did.

"Huh? Oh. It's Saitama." Saitama's blank look grew more serious as he looked at Jojo, taking his hand and returning the shake. He grinned honestly. "That was a good fight, Jojo."

"Thank you, Saitama." Jojo nodded his head. "I'm sure your actions here today have helped to change the course of history."

"Oh…did I do something that big?" Saitama seemed mildly shocked. "I was just told to come here by the Hero's Association. Something about worrying about some future inter-dimensional threats…so they sent me in place of an S-class. I just want to fight some strong enemies and make it back for my Korean drama later." Saitama paced around a little bit, as if pondering something unrelated. Speedwagon was speechless, watching this play out in front of him. Just how confident was this bastard?!

"Do you know any good restaurants around here? I figured I'd pick up dinner on the go. Bring something back for Genos."

"T-there's a village not too far from here. They can give you some food…" Speedwagon was still odded out by the young, bald, oddly dressed man, but he figured he wasn't all that bad considering what he did. It'd be best to just let him go on his way afterwards.

"Thanks…do you want to tag along?" Saitama asked, his expression growing lighter and friendlier. Speedwagon looked at Jojo, who simply patted him on the back and walked away without a word uttered. Speedwagon shrugged.

"Eh. Why not."

* * *

 **At Grillby's – Present**

[Sans/Grillby's theme – Undertale]

"Ah…the food here's a lot better." Saitama took a bite into his burger. Speedwagon, Saitama, and a few other strangers sat at the bar, enjoying a meal and a drink. The skeleton, Sans, seemed particularly amused at the situation while the kid next to him remained even more expressionless than Saitama.

"So you can punch anything…and it'll go down instantly?" Speedwagon asks Saitama skeptically. Settling down, Speedwagon was beginning to get used to the hero's odd demeanor…even if it threw him off sometimes. Still, though, despite seeing Saitama in action, it just seemed impossible. But here he was, in another dimension, sipping a beer with a bald powerhouse, a skeleton, and a kid…so why question it? The only thing that would've made Speedwagon feel better was if Jojo was with him, but he had to stay behind in their dimension to comfort Erina, which was the honorable thing to do. Normally, Speedwagon would be by his side, but he couldn't help but want to learn more about this odd man, especially if he could learn anything that'd help Jojo just in case the mask were to ever return.

"Pretty much…it's kinda annoying after a while." Saitama sips a beer, setting his glass down to face Speedwagon with an exacerbated expression. "People, barriers, anything goes down in one punch."

"You wouldn't believe this guy, Speedwagon," the skeleton man, Sans, laughed. "He was the guy responsible for bringing down the barrier that kept us monsters stranded Underground. Did it in with one punch, if you'd believe it."

"A barrier?" Speedwagon asked.

"Yeah. I forgot you weren't from around here." Sans took a sip of beer, which soaked nicely into his bones. "Well, Punchy here walked right in-between Asgore and Frisk as they were fighting and asked if the distorted light in the room was bothering them. Asgore nodded and the barrier came down in one hit. Toriel was relieved. Guy's a life saver. "

"So how come you're still down here if you wanted out?" Speedwagon couldn't help but ask.

"Well, Grillby here prefers tending to the remaining monsters in the Underground since the Overworlders get freaked out and try to douse him and it's easier to me to slack off on a job I can pretend to still have." Sans grinned. "Besides, I wanted to reminisce with the kid." Frisk nodded, a faint, tranquil smile growing on their face.

"I'd hardly believe it if I hadn't seen Saitama in action." Speedwagon adjusted his hat to get a better view of Saitama, studying his blank expression. "So where do you draw your power?" Speedwagon inquired, "Do you use Hamon energy? How did you get so powerful?"

"Oh, here it goes again." Sans laughs. "This always gets rattles the funny bones." As Sans says this while grinning at his pun, Saitama gets up from his seat, excited. He points up at the ceiling.

"One-hundred push-ups, one-hundred sit-ups, one-hundred squat thrusts, and ten kilometers, everyday! It was hell at first…I wanted to give up immediately…BUT if you train your mind and your body, you can be like me in three years."

"But that's just standard fitness training! And stop sounding like some kind of conman selling a magic elixir!" Speedwagon objected, slamming his hands into the bar. Grillby looked over at Speedwagon, giving him a…glare? Speedwagon sat back down at the bar, sighing. A man in blue laughed a few booths down.

"I'm sorry…but Jojo's done more intense training…there has to be something else to it than that!" Speedwagon shakes his head. Is Saitama keeping his real power source a secret? What honor is there in such unfair secret techniques? He is hardly the hallmark of a gentleman that Jojo is…and yet Speedwagon couldn't help but be curious. After all, he wanted to get stronger alongside Jojo…become stronger so they can protect those they love and honor the memories of those who've fallen. Just maybe…maybe if he heard what Saitama has done up until now, he could figure out his secret…that might just work!

"So, Punchy, do you plan on sharing a few stories?" Sans nudged Saitama, one step ahead of Speedwagon. Speedwagon was interested by the skeleton too…he exerted formidable power as well despite his outward laziness. Speedwagon had a feeling that Sans knew too much…but nonetheless, Sans had the right idea.

"Sure…what do you want to know?" Saitama asked.

"Didn't you say something about magical girls at some point, Punchy?" Sans took a bite of his hot dog, which passed right through his rib cage, splattering on the ground. A white dog, Toby, quickly swiped the hot dog from below, carrying it off with him contently, his white tail wagging.

"Oh yeah! I remember now…"

* * *

Mitakihara City – A few hours ago

[Magia – Madoka Magica]

In the distance, Homura summoned her arsenal of weapons – everything from semi-automatics to grenade launchers and everything in-between – as if out of nowhere and began firing desperately at the looming threat, the witch Walpurgisnacht. The determination never wavered, even as Homura fought a battle she was clearly going to lose. As much as Madoka didn't want to believe that Homura would be defeated, she somehow instinctively knew that unless she intervened, Homura's fate was sealed. And yet, Madoka couldn't help but notice how…familiar this all felt. How familiar Homura's maneuvers felt as she continuously dodged Walpurgisnacht's attacks. Madoka knew that Homura would put up a good fight…

And then the attacks got bigger…

Much bigger…

The skyscrapers hurdled at Homura were simply too much to dodge, even for a magical girl capable of freezing time.

Homura crashed into the ground, her body growing limp. Madoka ran instinctively to her side, panic overflowing her heart while her brain kept telling her…keep repeating in her brain how she's seen this all before. Countless times. Too many times, as if cementing reality in every eventuality.

"M…Madoka…" Homura whispered weakly in the rubble. Madoka leaned over Homura, cradling her body as Homura barely remained conscious.

"N…no matter what you do…do not make a contract…"

"…but…I…I can't this keep happening…Homura…" Madoka placed Homura back down, tears slipping down her delicate, rosy cheeks, onto her chin, falling solemnly onto Homura's face below. Madoka didn't want to leave her, but she didn't have much of a choice in the matter anymore. Walpurgisnacht was ready to destroy everything in sight and the longer she waited, the greater the casualties, the destruction, the ruin became. Madoka turned around to face Kyubey, who was always present…always…as if a persistent stalker she couldn't seem to shake. Now… despite her reservations, she had no choice but to ask for help from that very stalker.

"I..I'm ready to make a contract." Madoka's conviction was shaky, but her resolve to protect Homura, her friends, everyone was far too great a necessity to afford cold feet. She was ready…

"Kyubey, my wish…is for a force powerful enough to eradicate the witches. All of the witches…so that no magical girl needs to suffer again."

"With your potential, that will hardly be an issue…" Kyubey's eyes glowed as he pierced Madoka's very soul, the force extracting her very essence into her newly formed Soul Gem. The process was quick and instantaneous, but to Madoka, the pain dived into a gap in time, the split second becoming an eternity in its own right. When the pain subsided, the Soul Gem was clutched in her hands.

"Look upward for your wish, Madoka." Madoka looked to the ruined skies, seeing only the expanse of the storm Walpurgisnacht brought with it, the debris littering the sky reminding her of the sheer destruction the being produced. Then, a light tore through the sky as an immense energy was released, a shockwave penetrating the very foundation of the universe. Within the light, a man appeared.

"W-who is that?!" Madoka asked.

[One Punch Man theme song]

"In another universe…he would be the equivalent to a god in power…" Kyubey spoke. "A single strike from him would release enough energy to solve the entropy problem completely. Watch, Madoka."

In a graceful movement, the man, dressed in a frilly magical girl outfit with a bow wrapped around his bald head and a red cape fluttering violently in the wind fell towards the Earth in a strange, yet graceful dive. Walpurgisnacht, looking up at the source of the energy greater than its own, hesitated not to launch a massive energy attack on Saitama, sending an array of spear-like energy beams surrounding a large beam big enough to surely eradicate a small city. With one punch, Saitama obliterated the energy attack, scattering the shattered energy across the sky in a rain of sparkles, fireworks that would've been gorgeous in any other occasion. The man then summoned a bow made of roses, the flutter of sakura peddles surrounding him as the bow grew bigger and bigger. Saitama, much to Madoka's dismay and confusion, soon inserted himself into the large bow, using his body to pull back on the bow, aiming his punch right at the witch below him. Becoming the very arrow he intends to unleash on the witch, Saitama lets himself fly gracefully, his magical girl outfit and bows fluttering at hypersonic speeds as his trajectory arced right into the beast, his face blank in the meanwhile. Walpurgisnacht screeched as the man's immense punch penetrated through its very being in a burst of energy, ripping apart the witch at its very core. The shockwave from the attack electrified the sky, a feeling which Madoka could sense even from this far away. This very force expanded across the globe and the cosmos as well as through her very essence and the essence of every living being around it, a purifying, Zen feeling of peace and tranquility.

"That shockwave is systematically eliminating every witch throughout time and space thanks to the power you bestowed upon him, Madoka. Thanks to the efforts of Homura, that man, and your wish, entropy has been corrected…this is the outcome I had hoped for." Kyubey nodded, bounding down to Homura with a grief seed in his mouth. "You should tend to her now if you intend on saving her life."

"R-right!" Madoka snapped herself out of the shock, holding Homura in her arm once again as her other hand sought to purify her Soul Gem. Madoka was desperate at first, concerned that she may be too late. Homura's breathing was shallow, but Madoka could feel her muscles gradually loosen as the pain left Homura's body. She would surely live.

"It's finally over…Homura…" Madoka smiled sweetly. "You don't have to suffer anymore…"

In her hand, Madoka and Homura's Soul Gems shattered, their essence flowing back into their rightful bodies as the girls entered a deep, but peaceful sleep. They were finally free…

In the distance, the man, the hero who descended from the heavens, soon re-ascended into the sky, uttering no words as the wind fluttered his frilly pink magical girl dress and ribbon. Having slain the witch, Saitama entered the sky portal with the eventual hope that he'd finally be able to cash in his 50% off coupon for steak skewers at his local supermarket.

* * *

[Sans/Grillby's Theme]

"That one always gets me," Sans laughed. "Imagining Punchy in that magical girl outfit. Do you still have it?"

"I keep it just in case of emergencies…although I've never needed it." Saitama shrugged. "I just look at it now and remember how good the steak was that night."

"Sans! I made some more pasta with Undyne and was hoping…" Speedwagon noticed another skeleton barging in at the entrance, who Speedwagon realized had to be San's brother, Papyrus. Papyrus paused at the door to Grillby's, staring directly at Speedwagon and Saitama with curious, excited eyes. "Are those…more humans?! NYHEHEHEHEHEHEH!" Papyrus immediately rushed to the counter, a bowl of soggy pasts in his hands. Even from a distance, Speedwagon could tell half of it was mushy and overcooked as Papyrus set the bowl down on the bar counter. Despite not knowing him, however, Speedwagon really didn't want to hurt the larger Skeleton's feelings, so he tried to hide his expression. Fortunately, the one named 'Papyrus' had his attention elsewhere.

"Now this human knows how to dress!" Papyrus pointed at Saitama. "I never knew another human would have such a stylish fashion sense! Tell me, human, do you like puzzles?"

"Huh?" Saitama's eyebrow was raised in confusion. Speedwagon was confused as to how the conversation derailed so quickly, but after the day he was having and considering everything he's been through with Jonathan Joestar, perhaps this was what his life was becoming.

"Hmm…I suppose. I do have some bad memories with the junior jumble back home, though…"

"You too, human?" Papyrus empathized.

"I couldn't complete one in the fifth grade and got made fun of for the rest of the year. One thing turned into another after that…and my parents had to move to another city so I could to a new school." Saitama placed his head on the countertop, his expression still blank even as tears seeped out of his deadpan eyes.

Speedwagon's jaw dropped. How the hell did junior jumble escalate into that?! Sans, meanwhile, was trying not to burst into laughter in front of his brother Papyrus, who was comforting Saitama in his hour of need. Papyrus patted Saitama's bald head with a sense of familiarity.

"I understand, human. I've faced a similar hardship with the Junior Jumble. My brother never admits it, but I, the Great Papyrus, too, have struggle with…I SEE YOU CHUCKLING OVER THERE, SANS! Don't try and pretend that you're coughing when you don't have a lung in your body!" Sans couldn't take it anymore and fell off his bar-stool laughing. Frisk even cracked a smile, but fortunately was able to conceal it from Papyrus just in time. Speedwagon just shook his head, as if that would convince him not to laugh. So it seems that Saitama had limits…even if it was just Junior Jumble. Speedwagon felt that he could sympathize a little, considering even trying to learn how to read was a struggle for Speedwagon while he was living on the streets as a thug.

"Do you have any more stories?" Speedwagon tried changing the subject to get it off Junior Jumble. "Any stories where you had to rely on your power alone?"

"I have plenty…even if nobody believed me where I come from." Saitama sighs, although Speedwagon suspected such a feeling wasn't new to the man despite his prowess.

"Amuse us for a while. I still have a long break ahead of me, so how 'bout it, Punchy?" Sans nudged Saitama encouragingly. "I'll even buy you another drink on the house. Grillby, another round and put it on my tab!"

Grillby shrugged and moved to the back, fetching another round for everyone.

"Well, there was this one time…"

* * *

"What the hell are you doing up here, civilian?" A man, a member of the Garrison, glared down at the lazing Saitama. On top of Wall Maria, Saitama was playing a lonely game of solitaire, positioned on his side so that he could spare what little comfort the stone-hard bricks could offer him. Saitama didn't look up as he irritably fumbled a king in his hand. The man kind of spades was the only thing standing between him and two aces underneath the king in the deck. Saitama wished he could flick the king away, but knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. He considered cheating, but now that annoying man was yelling at him for some reason…

"…no regard for the men who guard this wall every day, trying to protect you. And what the hell is with that inappropriate attire anyways?" the soldier kept on ranting. One of the soldier's buddies approached the soldier, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't make a huge fuss about it, newbie. The Titans haven't attack the wall in 100 years. They're too damn stupid to anyways." The veteran laughed off the fresh meat's defiant glare, and as the newbie soldier rambled on, Saitama decide to continue searching the deck, even if that damn king was going to get in his way eventually. A modest smile came to Saitama's face when he found a red five he was looking for. He neatly placed the card on top of the black six, a content feeling reassuring that he was just fine.

What wasn't fine was the smoke cloud that blew away all of Saitama's hard work…

"Oh my god, is that a Titan?!" What looked like a lightning strike shot up into the air.

"W-What the hell?!" The air filled with more and more rising smoke.

"It's so big!"Screams began echoing from below the walls.

The soldiers around Saitama began panicking, some of them trying to man their stations while others frantically ran away. The veteran from before was a part of the latter, the newbie trying to shake some sense into him…literally. Before Saitama stood the being responsible for blowing away his modest little Solitaire game, a large naked being with pink muscles and skin throbbing visibly, his teeth larger than some buildings from back home. Saitama yawned.

"They could've at least given me an enemy that I haven't fought before…" Saitama complained. He was ready to waste the thing responsible for screwing up his game when a surge of light next to him appeared. A portal, similar to the one Saitama came from, produced his friend and pupil, Genos, who looked up in awe at the Colossal Titan.

"Wow…that reminds me of the beast you defeated in the news a while ago, Sensei!" Genos marveled at the size of the beast. "I knew the Association didn't need to send me as backup."

"This thing ruined my game…" Saitama muttered.

"Huh?" Genos looked confused, walking up to Saitama as everyone around him screamed in terror. "I can't hear you."

"That thing…RUINED MY GAME!" Saitama leaped into action, his fist angrily knocking off the Colossal Titan's head without a moment's hesitation. Steam scattered everywhere as the Titan's head flew apart in big, meaty chunks before each individual piece evaporated completely. Saitama, however, wasn't content yet.

"I finally…" He punched off the Titan's right arm, sending it flying to crush a few titans in the distance before boiling away in the field.

"Found…" He punched off the Titan's left arm, this arm now careening into the sky before splattering fragilely from the initial impact, covering the sky with steam.

"My red five!" Saitama punched out the Titan's legs with his consecutive punch technique, disjointing the Titan completely. The Titan, collapsing onto the ground, was only a husk of its former self, and Saitama wasn't finished. Saitama leaped from the wall, careening down towards the titan as he prepared one final punch.

"Normal punch!" Saitama yelled out his technique as he launched his decisive punch, the shockwaves from the punch eliminating not only the Colossal Titan's core, but every Titan in Saitama's general direction, the displaced air tearing their bodies apart instantly as if a swipe of a single blade. Saitama landed on the ground below to find a human-sized blood splatter where the Titan's core was meant to fall. He sighed.

"S-sensei…" Genos watched first in awe, then in shock, and now with concern as Saitama fell to his knees, finding stray cards scattered from his ruined game around the epicenter of the Colossal Titan's demise. The silence from the wind was soon displaced by cheers heard from inside the walls as people rejoiced in relief. Saitama picked up a solitary card and looked at it. He laughed dryly.

"I knew I'd have to deal with you later, you damn king." It was the King of Spades, staring at Saitama blankly. Saitama flicked the card away.

"Sensei…are you alright?" Genos asked.

"You know…Genos…when the Association told me to take out every Titan in this world, I was bored by the idea…so I waited for one to show up." Saitama laughed under his breath sadistically. His eyes were cat-like, large and hungry as he looked up at Genos.

"But now I think I'll be just fine with this job…" Saitama smiled creepily, Genos recoiling in surprise at his Master's cruel expression.

* * *

[Sans/Grillby's Theme]

"That really sucks." Sans shook his head, then nodded. "I remember how angry Papyrus was when a dog stole his junior jumble after nearly finishing it. He found it ripped up a few miles outside of Snowdin nearby the snowman…although I felt worse for the snowman."

"How come?" Speedwagon asked.

"The dog painted his feet yellow right before leaving. I sold the snowman some new snow for 500 G." Sans laughed.

"Wait…seriously?" Speedwagon assumed that the skeleton was joking...but he couldn't help but wonder…

"It is true…it was the closest I ever came to finishing…come, here human!" Saitama and Papyrus comforted each other with an embrace, letting their despair and sorrow seep out after facing their individual hardships. It nearly brought a tear to Speedwagon's eye…hell, even Sans was getting emotional. A single tear fell from Frisk's eye, and soon after, the child exited Grillby's with a look on his face that Speedwagon has seen define Jojo countless times through his many battles against Dio's forces: determination.

With nothing much to do as Saitama and Papyrus wallowed in their loss, Speedwagon rubbed his eyes tiredly, yawned, and decided he needed to step away from the insanity for a moment.

"I'm going to go wash up, Sans." Speedwagon got up from his barstool to visit the restroom in back, walking past a dog playing poker with a mirror…or would that be itself? Speedwagon didn't linger on this point much longer as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Emerging from the restroom, Speedwagon was greeted with a delightful treat. Saitama, Sans and Papyrus were all enjoying cinnamon buns that Frisk graciously bought from the shopkeeper down the street. A hot, steaming bun was waiting on the bar counter for him too, which he eagerly took to with a childish grin on his face.

"Thanks Frisk...I hope it wasn't too much trouble getting this. I was only ever able to eat these on holidays when I was your age you know…so here, for your troubles," Speedwagon flicked a small gold coin at Frisk, which Frisk caught and tucked away in their pocket. Frisk smiled sweetly and with a silent nod, began digging into their desert.

Now that Saitama calmed down, Speedwagon felt like hearing more from Saitama. He figured these would make for some great dinner stories back home…if anyone would ever believe him, of course.

"Have any more stories for us, Saitama?" Speedwagon asked with a newfound enthusiasm for hearing the hero's exploits.

"I think so…well, there was this one time…"

* * *

 **To be continued?**


End file.
